Confession Tuesday: Just Plain Annoying

            I know she does it just cause she wants to know what’s going on in my life, but lets face it, when you get something from the kitchen and find your mom looking through your school bag and binder, it is kind of annoying. And don`t get me wrong, it is not like I have something to hide or anything (and it's not like I don`t want my mom to know what's going on in school) but I like to know that I can leave my backpack in my living room without having someone take all of my stuff out and go through each one of my papers, one by one (literally).

            And it is not like this happened one time it happens, a lot; and I know some of you are thinking "Why doesn't she tell her mom not to look through her bag?" but believe me I've tried, and apparently (or at least according to my mom) it is okay to go through peoples bags whenever you feel like it. Because whenever I found her going through my stuff I was like "Mom... what are you doing?" and she answered “ Just looking through your binder” like there was nothing wrong with it; and after that she’d be like “Why, is there something wrong?” and I was just like “uhh… yeah” only I’d say that in my head because of I said it out loud she would get angry at me (just to keep looking through my stuff later).

          So, now whenever I find her looking through my stuff I just get annoyed, but don`t say anything because I know she won’t listen to me.

            

For more confessions go to Middle Mindz

Keeping it Interesting

           The tree is up, the small, white lights are hanging from the windows, and my mom has taken it to her to decorate every inch of the first floor (dining room, living room, kitchen, and stairs) in red, white and, green, it is obviously Christmas.

           Almost every family has their own Christmas traditions, things they do every single year, but for us, every Christmas is different. We don’t spend all of our Christmases at one place, or sing Christmas carols, or even eat turkey every year.  Each year it is different, a different meal, a different song, a different friend`s house.

            I remember one Christmas when I was four or five; we had just arrived to Guatemala that morning. The new apartment didn`t even have furniture. At night when we went out, supposedly to watch a movie we found out that nothing opened on Christmas Eve. We found the only grocery store opened, and bought three Cup-a-Noodles . We got home ate, and went to sleep at 10 pm on mattresses on the floor.

         I guess we like to keep things interesting?...

When I was Puerto Rican Book Review

                   When I was Puerto Rican starts with a four year old Esmeralda Santiago or Negi moving to Mancún. Negi the oldest out of all her brothers and sisters lives everyday with her parents` unstable relationship, taking care of her siblings, and growing up in a rural community of humble means. As Negi grows up she struggles against becoming a señorita in an uptight and traditionalist Puerto Rican community. 

                        Because of her parents’ unstable relationship her mother makes them move away from their father from time to time, when this happens they usually move to the city were Negi does not fit in and is called a jibara by her classmates.  

                       Her family’s economic situation forces Negi’s mother to take a job at a local factory, something very uncommon for women to do at that time; the other women in town look at Negi’s mother differently. Being the oldest of seven Negi is forced to grow up a lot faster than the rest of her brothers and sisters, having to help take care of her siblings and run a home.

                        One day Raymond, one of Negi’s youngest brothers suffers from a biking accident and is left with a very badly injured foot. Negi`s mom takes him to see as many doctors as she can and when that is not enough she takes the whole family to the city for him to be able to be treated by specialists

                           In the city the family of nine lives in a small room behind a bar, after a while Negi`s mom goes to New York with Raymond for him to be seen by doctors. Negi is left at her uncle`s house were she has to peel potatoes all day.  When her mother comes back from New York, she has changed, she now wears high heels paints her nails, and has cut her hair; she is a woman from the city. Negi feels like she is losing her mom to the men that shout out compliments at her while walking down the street and to her brothers and sisters, her mom is not just her mom anymore.

                     Throughout the memoir Negi faces and comes to understand the topic of love and sexuality in the Puerto Rican culture.  She experiences the normal teenage issues. Like every other teenager she dreams of the fairytale stories and handsome men in the novelas at the same time that she deals with school crushes. She also comes to understand her parents’ tough love towards each other.

                        When Negi is thirteen her mother decides to take Edna, Raymond, and Negi with her to live in New York, the rest of her siblings Delsa, Norma, Hector, and Alicia stay with their father until they have enough money to bring them to New York. Negi`s mother separates from her father completely and permanently. When they get to New York they meet their grandmother from their mother`s side, Tata, Don Julio, Tata`s friend (boyfriend), and Chico, Tata’s brother, for the fist time. The three of them have a drinking problem.

                      In New York, Negi sees for the fist time people different from the normal Puerto Rican for the first time, she sees Jews, Italians, and the many different social and racial separations in the Brooklyn of the 50`s. When she goes to school she fight to not get put back a grade because of her low level English. She studies as hard as she can becomes one of the people with the highest grades of her grade. At school Negi doesn`t find any friends; she doesn’t fit in with the all American group, the Italians, the Puerto Ricans that are trying to forget Puerto Rico, or the Puerto Ricans that hate being in the United States; she feels completely lonely.

                 After a while Negi`s mother falls in love with Francisco one of their neighbors.  He moves in to live with them and Negi`s mother gets pregnant. A few months later Francisco is diagnosed with cancer and a few months after that he passes away.

                 When the rest of her siblings arrive to New York, Negi finds out that her father had married shortly after they left and had scattered the kids around between family members. Her and her siblings feel resentment towards their father but their mother, makes them keep in touch and assures them he still loves them; this shows Negi how even though her parents do not love each other they respect and care for one another. Negi`s mother becomes like father and mother to them.

                 A few years later Negi’s guidance counselor at school suggest she try out for a school of Performing Arts. Negi prepares herself for the audition memorizing a monologue.  Weeks later she auditions at Performing Arts and gets in to the acting program. She graduates from Performing Art and becomes a scholarship student at Harvard; accomplishing her goal of getting out of Brooklyn.

                One of the lines I love is:

“The guava joins its sisters…. I push my cart away, toward the apples and pears of my adulthood, their nearly seedless ripeness predictable and bittersweet.” (Pg.4)

I love this line because I think it really shows the meaning of the title of this book. It shows that even though, Esmeralda (Negi) misses and still loves the Puerto Rico of her childhood, she is not the Puerto Rican thirteen year-old girl that left for New York anymore. Her culture is now a mixture of the two cultures.

                   I loved this book. I really liked the way the author was able to tell her story with rawness yet in a beautiful way. I loved how Esmeralda Santiago described the Puerto Rican culture.  I also loved this book because it tells a story that anyone living in a foreign country can relate to.

Overprotected

The Catcher in the Rye is a very relevant book of our time; for starters, even though the book is set in the nineteen fifties teenagers all over the world can still relate to it. It is also one of the first books to touch so many coming of age issues in such a public manner. The Catcher in the Rye has been causing controversy for more than fifty years; I think that a book with such power is obviously relevant to our time.

When published in 1951, The Catcher in the Rye caused immediate controversy all across the United States and around the world. The book was banned from many libraries and school.  Adults where outraged by the books openness towards subjects that where almost never spoken about at that time. In the present some people still think this amazing piece of literature should not be taught in schools. I, on the other hand, think that The Catcher in the Rye should be taught in schools.

To begin with, The Catcher in the Rye was banned because its use of profane language, premarital sex, alcohol abuse, and prostitution (Chasan 2); but if you know anything about today’s teenagers, and if you have read the book you can tell that kids today see and hear worse things, on TV, the internet, and even in their own school hallways. In the book Holden, the main character, can`t even stand the words f*ck you written on a wall: “I saw something that drove me crazy. Somebody had written “Fuck

You” on the wall it drove me near crazy” (Salinger 201). Therefore trying to protect kids from this book is ridiculous since they are already exposed to many other things, that compared to the book are much worse.

The Catcher in the Rye is also said and thought to be to anti- almost everyone, whites, homosexuals, African Americans, and authority in general. It has also been accused of being a communist plot (Chasan 2); but compared to the book, which shows the point of view of fictitious character from the fifties, what is really an act of communism is banning a book because it opposes your beliefs, much like Hitler did during the holocaust and many other communist dictators throughout history. Banning a book, any book, goes against the United States’ constitution (freedom of speech).

Many people belief that The Catcher in the Rye should be banned and not taught in schools; however not teaching this wonderful piece of literature to middle school and high school students would just make them miss out on one of the greatest stories of our time. The Catcher in the Rye is a story that everyone can relate to in way or another, and analyzing it in school so that students can really understand its meaning is better than banning it, and kids reading and misunderstanding the book.

The Catcher in the Rye has caused polemic for many years, since the fifties up to today. Many people think that is should prohibited in schools and libraries; but is uselessly overprotecting teenagers and depriving them of understanding such an amazing piece of literature really what adults want to do for the younger generations?

What If?

Ichabod Crane, oh, Ichabod Crane the young, affable, sage, new schoolmaster of Terry Town they said. They all liked him; they all adored him, his singing, his teaching, everything, despite his abhorrent face. And as for me I was okay with him; he was not at all irascible and soon target for my practical jokes. I really had no problem with him until he tried to steal my Katrina`s heart away.

 He was her singing master, you see; and used that as an excuse to visit her at her father`s house. He visited her almost everyday and at the beginning I believed it, that he was only there to help her with her singing lessons. But as he started going more and more frequently, as other farmers started seeing them under the great elm, I realized his intentions. I wouldn`t let him take her, I told myself, I would just scare him off like I had done with all my other rivals. His courtships towards Katrina and her responses would not leave me despondent.

So, when she invited us to her father`s party on Halloween night I was sure to come. I planned to win Katrina over that night, you see. Ichabod it turned out was a fine dancer and had Katrina in his arms all night. So, as I was unable to show her my charms, I generated another plan, a much more ambitious plan. The residents of Terry Town, you see, were extremely superstitious and Ichabod was the most superstitious of them all. The residents all believe in witchcraft and magic and because of this the town is full of interminable legends and horror stories.

So, when Old Baltus Van Tassel, Katrina`s father, called upon all of his guests and asked them to tell their best horror stories I told about the most famous tale of Terry Town, The Headless Horseman. The story tells about a warrior that lost his head during the revolutionary war and now haunts the Sleepy Hollow cemetery in search of someone with a head to chop off. He carries a pumpkin full of fire carved as a head. I also told about my own encounter with the horseman how I had seen him by the graveyard while coming home in the middle of the night, how I had galloped through the bridge where he had halted and disappeared.

After the story telling, the party broke off and we all left for our homes Ichabod stayed behind and I hid in Sleepy Hollow`s haunted cemetery. A while later I finally heard Ichabod galloping slowly in his horse. The forest animals sounds reverberated through the trees and I could just feel Ichabod`s fear growing, feeling that something was amiss, and started to prepare myself for the ultimate prank. I sunk my head in to my suit leaving a small space for me to see grabbed a carved pumpkin I had stolen from Katrina`s house and mounted my horse. As he emerged through the trees I waited quietly until he was in front of me and started to chaise him. He desperately tried for his old horse to gallop faster and he tugged at its reins in a tremulous manner. I followed him as fast as I could, lit pumpkin in hand, impelling my horse forward. I persecuted him until the bridge where he fell of his old horse. I threw the pumpkin in his direction but made sure it did not hit him and galloped of rapidly hoping I had scared him enough to leave town.

The next day the town`s residents found his hat on the ground near the bridge pieces of pumpkin next to it. No one knows whatever happened to Ichabod Crane, some say he is living in another town, others say he was taken by the Headless Horseman, I do not know what happened to Ichabod, all I know is that he was alive when I left. And as for Katrina and I, we are married now and share a profound love for each other but I will always wonder what if Ichabod was still here.

Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn: Book Reflection

Breathing Underwater is novel that talks about 16-year old Nick Andreas who has beaten his girlfriend Caitlin, and he has been sentenced by a court to six months of counseling classes on family violence and dealing with anger, and he also has to keep a journal of his reflections on his relationship.  The judge also grants a restraining order so that he can`t have any contact with Caitlin.  At first Nick doesn´t understand why his behavior was wrong or what caused it, but by his reflection and his relationships with the other guys in the class, he learns his lesson and finally understands the roots off his problem. He also turns around his relationship with his abusive and violent father. 

         The novel mixes together Nick’s narration of his current life, after going to court, with his “journal entries” reflecting on his relationship with Caitlin and the events that led up to him beating her. You can soon see how he was copying his father`s controlling attitude, how insecure and jealous he was, and how he was aggravated by Caitlin having or even showing independent thought. Throughout the novel you realize how Nick puts all off his anger and insecurities towards Caitlin because he can`t stand up to his father. In the end Nick understands what he did wrong and that his father’s abusive behavior is not his fault. He finally stands up to him and puts an end to the cycle.

When I first started reading this book I didn´t think I would like it because it is not the kind of book I usually read. I soon surprised myself when I couldn´t put the book down. This book reminded me of many movies I`ve seen and stories I`ve heard were someone in the relationship is controlling and aggressive because of their own insecurities. Its also reminds me of the short story “Nobody Stole Jason Grayson” because in the story the main character`s relationships at home affect her relationships with everyone else, also both of the main characters, in this book and in the short story, have been abandoned by their mothers. I liked the way the author tells the story from Nick’s point of view because stories about domestic violence are usually told in the point of view of the abused. This book really made me see what a vicious cycle abusive relationships really are because when someone abuses of someone else it causes them to have low self-steam and become controlling and abusive towards somebody else, Nick´s feather`s abusive behavior causes Nick to become abusive toward Caitlin.

In my opinion one of the most important quotes in this book is:

“Like your life`s a big act. Like you are trying to be a man when you´re just a scared kid, trying to keep control when you really want o scream, cry, maybe hit someone. Ever feel like your breathing under water, and you have to stop because you`re gulping in to much fluid?”  (20)

I think this quote is so important because it describes exactly what Nick was feeling. The quote also contains the title of the novel, Breathing Underwater; to me this phrase means that you means that you are drowning in your problems, that they are taking over you or that you can`t fight back.

Another quote I find interesting is,

“It´s about being a man, a real man. Not just about who is bigger or stronger. It´s about doing the right thing even though you don´t want to, about taking responsibility for your actions… About letting go when you really want to hold on so bad” (253)

I liked this quote because I think it really sums up what the book is about and what Nick realizes in the end. It is also one of the main things that the author is trying to tell us. Another of the main things the author is trying to say is that you have to stand up for yourself and face your fears because that’s one of the only ways to grow and become a better person.

         What happens in this book is very realistic because it talks about and issue that many people are affected by. The book really changed my mind about abusive relationships because before I just thought that the person being abused was dumb for going back to the abuser or for even putting up with it but in this book you can really see what low self-steam both the victims and the abuser have and that even though what they do is very wrong they probably have other issues that are the roots of their abusive behavior and low self-steam.

         This book has become one of my favorite books because it is different than all the other books and it really opens your eyes to the world of domestic violence.

A Part of Him

I remember his flaming red hair, how much he loved baseball, and of course his mitt. The one we got for him on his eighth birthday, when we walked in to the sport equipment shop, my older brother, Charlie, and I. My older brother and I had been saving up, had put both of our allowances together for three weeks to buy Charlie a birthday present. And when we had asked him what he wanted he answered without even thinking about it. “ A baseball mitt” he told us. So we walked in to almost every sport equipment store we knew looking for a lefties baseball glove. We searched all afternoon and were about to give up when we stumbled upon a small sports shop near Yankee Stadium.  We walked over to a shelf full of mitts. We looked for a few minutes until we finally found one for lefties at the back of the shelf, hidden by all the others.

Ever since that day he carried the mitt and a green pen around with him everywhere and wrote poems on it. He wrote on every finger, on the palm, and on both sides. “ So I can read when it gets boring out on the field” he said when I asked him why. Now, the mitt is old and it feels like Charlie has had it since forever.

The leather is worn down, soft and flimsy. No longer tan but khaki and even white in some areas. The green letters, thick from being traced over and over and over again whenever they began to fade away. The words, in his neat handwriting, lined up carefully across all of it. The poems separated by dots. Poems, with words and phrases so powerful they can make you want to cry. The string that holds the flaps together, the string that started off white, now almost black because of the dirt.

Its all there, changed by the years, but there; except for Charlie. He is missing. He passed of leukemia in 1946. I was about thirteen when it happened, when he died. I remember I slept in the garage that night. I remember I broke all of the windows with my hand, smashed them to pieces even though it hurt like hell. I smashed them, just because I felt like it.

I miss Charlie. I miss the way he laughed until he fell off his chair. I miss his red hair that I could see from a thousand yards away. I miss watching him play ball. I miss him; but his mitt will always be with me, and his mitt was a part of him.

Step Back In time

September 14, 1620

Dearest Mother,

          We have finally arrived to the new world! We are all healthy and well. How are you? I have missed you very much.

         The Mayflower arrived to Plymouth one week ago. It may seem strange to you because we were destined for Jamestown; but some harsh winds threw us off course and we decided to establish our own settlement.

         Upon our arrival we composed and signed a document stating that we will make decisions “for the general good of the colony”. We named it the Mayflower compact. This document has helped us be certain that there will be no guile when running the colony.

         It is imperative that you come join us before King James the first´s soldiers find out we are separatists. I can assure you that you will love the colony and our new home. The fresh air and beautiful wildlife puts everyone in a happy disposition. But beware; your friends and neighbors are not to think coming here is a spontaneous decision. They must think that you got on the boat because you run out of money and had no more options. I must also warn you that the voyage is turbulent and long.

Well dear mother, I must go now! I will be expecting and looking forward to your company. You will finally be free from the Kings persecution!

           With love,

    Your Son, Alexander       

MY LAST BREATH

I wake up to a chuckle, and I know he is watching me again. Clad in his nightgown and holding the lantern. He thinks I don´t know, he thinks I don´t hear him.  When he stands at the door while I simulate sleep for hours; as he pushes the door further and further as slowly as he can. He opens the door gingerly so that I won´t notice.

For eight nights he has done this, but it´s not like it surprised me. I knew he was a mad man from the beginning. The look in his eyes; the way he grimaced every time I looked at him. And yet, I hired him; and for a while it was fine, he took care of me, conducted inventory of my riches, watched the house while I was away. But as time passed, he changed.  He became crazier than ever, watching my gruesome eye for hours at a time. And that’s when I surmised he was planning something; and as the days went on, as he started coming to my room at midnight I derived the obvious, he was going to murder me.

But I wasn´t going to get in the way of his endeavor. For I am old, I have no wife or kids; I am alone in this world and frankly; I am ready to succumb.

So now, there he is at my door, holding the lantern. And I know that today is the day as he opens the lantern ever so slightly and a ray of light falls on my eye. He sees it, and this seems to electrify him as he runs abrasively towards my old dehydrated body. And I know there will be no one to corroborate my murder. But there is no time to fight now. He is here, at my bedside grabbing me by the wrist and throwing me on to the floor in a cursory manner. I allow my self one shriek to say goodbye to this world, and he moves my bed on top of me as I take my last breath.

Serendipity

   What should I name it  I think. I don't know. It should be something creative, something with meaning, something I love. What do I love? I ask myself, my mom, my dad, my dog, my friends... music. Nothing is good enough.

     List of pretty words I type. The search engine immediately shows me the search results. One hundred most beautiful words in the English language says the first one I click on it and start to scroll down. Evanescent, elixir, furtive, glamour, penumbra,moonbeam, serendipity.
     Serendipity. I type it up on the tool bar and press enter. I press on the Dictionary.com definition. Serendipity I read.Finding something nice while looking for something else ; when someone finds something they weren't expecting to find.
     It's perfect I tell myself. I love it. I go back to my blog and type it up. SERENDIPITY, to find something you weren't expecting to find. To find something good.